Getting Started

So, I have been thinking about starting a blog for about 10 years now. 10 years? Yep. Actually, it started off as a desire to write a book that has now morphed in to writing a blog. Less committal.

People have been telling me to document my crazy life for some time now. And, I have wanted to. I just seem to never find the right moment to sit down and "be inspired" to say something that other people will actually want to read. I do get inspired...just never at the right times.

I am hit with inspiration while running. I am hit with inspiration at 3am when I cannot sleep (it is apparently much better to lay awake in bed because you do not officially qualify as having to be productive until your feet touch the floor. And, ever since being sucked in to watching PSU: Paranormal State and their declaration that 3am is "dead hour" when all the spooks go out for their nightly fix, I refuse to leave my "safe house" bed. And, yes, it is always 3am when I wake up...). Or, inspiration pays a visit while I am supposed to be giving my undivided attention, like while driving.

The lesson learned is that I have great thoughts when I am forced into downtime; the problem is one needs free hands and/or light to put forth genius-like prose. When I try to later recreate those exact words that sounded so great while running mile four, it just never sounds as good. It is like trying to recreate the term paper you forgot to save when the electricity went out. All that BS you worked so hard to contrive in order to cover up your actual lack of supporting evidence now needs to be "re-BSed". Re-BSing is hard to do. Recreating unique inspiration is equally challenging.

And, yes, I am aware that there are tape recorders blah blah blah, but, again, that would require commitment.

But, here I go. I was recently watching the Today Show and a famous author was being interviewed (I forgot who...that isn't the point...) and he made the comment that as a writer you have to force yourself to write at least one page every day or it will never happen. That comment struck a chord with me and I suddenly felt an urgency to start writing. I ran to my computer with all the urgency that 10 years of procrastination can cause one to feel, and, well, I signed up for my very own blog. Interestingly it took me quite some time to come up with a name (hadn't thought about that) and deciding what to use as my name. Initially I thought I would just be plain, ol' me. But, then I thought what if people actually read this? What if those people know who I am? OH SHIT. I decided a pseudonym was a much safer way to go in order the preserve some people's good opinions of me!

That was roughly a month ago.

I did start to make a list of subjects that the world needs to know my point of view on. But, again, when I tried to write down notes to further explain, it just didn't sound as pretty as it sounded in my head at 3am. It is the exact conundrum that I have faced when trying to write a journal to my daughter. I have all of these oh so very, very important life lessons that I want to share with her. Things that SHE MUST KNOW in the event that I am struck by lightning tomorrow. Memories that I want her to have of me because she won't remember me if I am struck by the aforementioned lightning (is that an okay way to go, by the way, or for literary purposes should I pick another demise???) because she is only two. Instead, all of these very important things that she must know, come out on paper as "Follow your dreams", "Love yourself", "Be happy", "Don't get drunk at your wedding" and "Be sure to watch Bridget Jones 1 and 2" (clearly one of life's very important life lessons). Shit. Serious Shit.

I think something about writing on paper and not being able to easily go back and edit thoughts takes me on a bit of a choose your own adventure style of writing that leads me in to a hole of complete crap (much like those books did!). My daughter's only take-away will be that I cannot write and then I am perhaps low on IQ points. Actually, my demise might be caused from her reaction if she ever were to read the damn thing!

But, I am now officially started. I have officially begun to put thoughts on virtual paper. It isn't rolling out as clever and contrived as some of the plots I had dreamed up long ago. Actually, the reality of those plots was that they were often developed while I was stoned (on the good stuff one gets while traveling through Amsterdam...not the stuff your boyfriend's shady brother "JD" got from his "dealer friend" in high school). And when I would become "unstoned" as one tends to become (I was never one of those "smoke all day" or even a "smoke every day" kind of people...that would require a certain commitment that I didn't have nor aspired to have), I could never reconstruct all of the delicate storylines I had previously thought up. Perhaps they never made sense in the first place, to a non-stoned person that is. Other stoned people thought they were really witty, but therein is the inherent flaw. I do remember one of them taking place in space and was laced with themes of Foucault’s episteme, and another being something to do with the lead character imagining different "lifescapes" of herself had she taken different paths in life la, la, ladeda. As you can see...not the stuff that literary giants are made of!

Recently, however, it dawned on me that maybe life in general is hysterical, crazy and somewhat unbelievable enough to be something worth writing about. Not every person needs to find my writing earth-shattering; just a few people who share my sense of humor and life perspective (although those few people better bloody-well love it! HA.).

And, that is enough for today. I have written my page. I have, indeed. May ten years of thoughtful procrastination rest in peace.

With the exception of one thing. I feel the need to post a recipe with my entries. I LOVE to cook. It is therapeutic for me. I would say I am somewhere between a "B" and a "B+/A-" in the world of household cook rankings. I enter a random recipe contest from time to time (have never won), I read all the cooking glossies and challenge myself with techniques that are somewhat advanced. I often don't follow recipes and rarely measure things (which is why I cannot bake very well). Sometime I fail. Other times I prevail. I have silly dreams of being on "Top Chef" (and for what it is worth, "Amazing Race" too in the event that any producers ever read this blog...) but I am painfully aware that I would be voted off in the first episode with my inability to whip up a coq au vin off the top of my head or sous-vide anything. In all of my previously mentioned dreams of writing, I could never figure out how to weave in the ability to throw in a cool recipe here and there without it looking out of place or not at all relevant to the rest of story (and so, our heroine, Judy, has saved the planet by relocating all good-looking, highly desirable men to places that really need them, like Kentucky. Population decline is no longer a problem. Alas! And, don't close the book just yet because Judy is now going to whip up her favorite soufflé!) .

But it is my blog. I get to write this. I don't care if it doesn't fit! And, mothers will appreciate this one because it was developed for my picky, picky two year old.

Apple-Cheddar French Toast
This recipe works for one serve of two pieces of toast. If you want more, double it accordingly. As I mentioned, I am not a measurer with recipes that don't need to be exact, so do your best.

Preheat oven to 350

2 eggs, well beaten
1 good squeeze of honey
1 good glug of whole milk, whipping cream or french vanilla coffee creamer
1 small pinch of salt
A couple of dashes of Ceylon Cinnamon
2 Slices Cheddar Cheese
A couple pinches of granulated sugar
1 granny smith apple, cored and sliced into thin, long slices
A couple TBLSPs of butter (salted or unsalted...your choice)
Two sliced bread of your choice (I like brioche or something like that, but good ol' sandwich bread is a good pinch hitter)

Melt the butter on a skillet over medium heat. Don't get it too hot because butter burns and has the capacity to really smell up your house. Mix eggs, honey, milk, cinnamon and salt. Put in into a flat dish of some sort that will allow you put the bread in and soak. Then, surprise, soak the bread in the egg mixture 30 seconds on each side. Put the soaked bread on to the skillet. Brown the toast on each side being careful not to over brown (burn) it because if this is for a little one, they will no longer eat it if it is slightly burnt (I could go in to a whole explanation that I recently read about kids and the "bitter" taste and why, scientifically, they won't eat it, but, I will spare you). Move toast to an oven-proof pan or dish. Sprinkle the top side of the toast with a light dusting of granulated sugar. Top each piece with one slice cheddar cheese. Put the bread in the oven for about 5 minutes or until the cheese is nice and melty. Remove from oven and top the bread/cheese with slices of granny smith apple.

Before you judge...this is good. For all you folks who like apple pie with a slice of cheddar cheese on it...this recipe is for you.

Oh...any my little one still insists on syrup. Use your own discretion on that one!